Weakness

So I lost. I've had two days to let it sink in. Now it's about that time where I break down a little like the human mind usually dictates. I'm disappointed at being disappointed. I figured myself stronger than this but it seems I am not. I really did believe I could make a difference.

It just seems that all my friends around me are moving to bigger and better things. Most of them are in strong relationships, have secure jobs with the necessary skills and are generally happy where they are in life. I'm getting older and still have never done anything of any great significance. I have hardly any money in the bank, no experience in the industry I want to break into, I'm in a "relationship" with a girl I've not seen for the last seven months and my mind seems to be getting distracted quicker as time goes by.

I'll bounce back from this. This is just a moment of weakness in a vulnerable time. I'll bounce back, it's time to become robotic. I've fallen but I'm about to grow wings.

Thank you to everyone who did support me. More than five hundred of you chose me to lead you and that means a great deal. Congratulations to Jess as well. She deserves this so much and she's going to make great things happen. This is just the beginning for her.

Today is the day

Today we find out the result of our hard work. Today we find out our future.

Jess Green is going for Vice President of Activities and no one deserves that position more than her. What she has done for The Looprevil Press over the last year has been nothing less than amazing. How can anyone argue with that?

Decisions of this magnitude are still only popularity contests. Especially amongst students. It's not in the interest of fairness but it's democracy none the less.

Anyway, today is the day. I'm nervous. I want this position. The linchpin in my life right now. The difference between staying or going. We've put the work in. Now let's just hope the old saying is right that hard work pays off.

If you've not voted yet then please vote #1 Sham Patel for VP Community and #1 Jess Green for VP Activities.

Either way, thank you all for the support.

A Ramble...

Recently I find myself incredibly restless. I can't even sit through a movie without getting to my laptop or phone to do some work. Ever since I was a young Sham I would get addicted to things very easily. There was the comic book phase, there was the whiney screechy rock music, there was getting peirced, there was bodybuilding, there were the girls, there were the months where computer programming took over my life so much so that I suffered my first migrane after hours and hours of the blue Pascal screen. These are to mention but a few.

Now I'm addicted to work. To creating. I find that it's not such a bad thing but I fear I may have overdone it in the past few months as now my body is giving up on me at the most crucial time when final year assignments are due in and when I need to get this electoral campaign in gear. But even the body adapts. It will evolve or I'll punish it.

Time is ticking away and I need to make something of myself. I need to make something out of the nothing I used to be because that's the only way to make a greater change out there in the big bad world. If I get this job as the VP of Community...it's going to align things perfectly. I will still be able to be involved in the Student Media, I'll be working with people committed to helping others and I'll be able to change things from the inside.

Here's hoping!

The Beating Heart

What a union should be
A university, any university, should take pride in it's union. The two should be linked, a bond that benefits students. The union is a place that students can come too for shelter from studying. It should be that safe haven where they can escape to when academia comes rap-tap-a-tapping at the door. A union should be the beating heart of the university.

Our union
Using the analogy of a union as a heart, I would have to say that ours needs a pacemaker (even I'm cringing at that line). What our union doesn't have is presence. It lacks charisma, it lacks that je ne sais quoi. Our union is dull and drab in comparision to others around the country. It needs life. The conundrum here is that to get it lively we need student involvement and to get student involvement we need that passion and to get that passion we need the place to be lively. A full circle.

What our union is good at
There are two main elements our union is great at. One is supporting students. When I first walked into the union with fragmented ideas they were open to me straight away. They listen. They create opportunities. They provide. Sometimes things get frustrating but any business has it's hiccups. The second thing our union is good at is probably the first one again. I had to put two down. One is a lonely number.

If I get voted in I'm going to make sure that our university know about the union. I plan to build a body of students around the beating heart. I plan to create a community. For now I need to run off in search of that giant pacemaker.

A taste of success

Success is measured in so many ways. Perhaps too many ways as every little hurdle we overcome becomes a monumental achievement in everyday life. It's what we need to keep going day to day. It becomes addictive.

Yesterday was the Mock & Roll event at the Students Union. Looprevil's third event of this academic year. And by far our most successful. Yesterday was proof that our newspaper is working, that it's building up a solid reputation. Just one and a half years ago The Looprevil Press was nothing more than an abstract concept. Now we have a dynamic website. Now we have a quarterly print edition. Now we host strong events showcasing student talent. Now we have a team of more than forty people proud to be part of this. And now we're venturing into radio with the introduction of Looprevil Radio to the LSU. Yesterday felt like what a students' union should feel like.

Just one and a half years ago our union or university didn't have any student media. Now, most importantly, we've set up the city of Looprevil where students can showcase their skills. Hopefully Looprevil will grow into one of the strongest student mediums in the country within the next five or ten years. Hopefully Looprevil will teach students skills that they need in the dreaded world of work.

So has Looprevil been successful? I'll leave that for you to answer.

Why should you vote?

That's the question isn't it. Why should you, or come to think of it, why should I vote? Democracy. Hope. Future. Vision. Change. Are all these just subjective concepts that are dangled as bait in front of students naive to the whole voting process?

The reason I have advertised this blog on my group is so that I can have real time communication with the students who are voting for me. It's so that I can keep them up to date with what I'm doing as well as inform them about the electoral process at the Liverpool Students' Union.

So, why should you vote? I think it's safe to assume that our generation has grown up with a veil of negativity cast onto it. From terrorism to life threatening diseases to a global recession, we've seen events like this in the last decade alone. Our generation has grown up to believe that it's a dog eat dog world out there and that we must possess an innate but relative selfishness to succeed.

So that's why you should vote. To be selfish and make a choice that's totally yours. It's to reclaim that little power that we have in an attempt to form the collective. It's to make sure that our voice doesn't disappear in the system. I mean, why should you remain silent while others around you make their thoughts known? Why should your opinions matter less? They shouldn't! So don't let them go to waste.

So many students complain that they are not represented well enough. Many students feel that they don't have a voice. In my experience, organizations such as the union have a lot to offer but they're misrepresented by this overshadowing reputation. The only way to change things is by becoming more involved. I mean we must retain some pride for our university. I personally hate the fact that LJMU comes second in the list of Universities in Liverpool. So it's up to us as students to better things.

All in all, just vote. Preferably for me but even if it's not for me. Just vote. Because at the end of the day it's about making our union and university better.

Campaign begins...

Saturday morning and I'm working hard. Nominations had to be handed in yesterday so today the campaigning begins proper. I'm actually buzzing with the excitement of starting this now. I've been thinking about it for a long time and now it's time to go out there and ask students what they want.

I've mentioned that I'm running for Vice President of Community at the Liverpool Students Union and I'm going to take this very seriously. The Community role is relatively new as before last year it was not part of our union. Our current VP of Community has done a great job so far. He's made the position an integral factor in helping student life and I hope to take on the reigns and make even more of a positive difference.

Because the role is relatively new, there is a lot of room for creativity and something you'll learn about me is that I rate creativity very highly. So I'm excited. I know I can make a difference and now it's just about explaining to you how I will.

Over the next few days I'll be going through my policies and hopefully be taking questions from you all. Thanks for reading.

Blog to Procrastinate

Manifesto due in two days. I still haven't completely finished it. It's not that I'm nervous. It's just that there's too much on at the moment. Between Looprevil Press and Looprevil Radio, University assignments and work at the union, it's just getting pushed back.

It's cool though. I've done enough research to write one out and I thrive on the last minute pressure. It gives me that one last boost of motivation. So instead of blogging here i'm going to go get some work done now. Have a meeting later. Living life more in meetings than not at the moment. Come to think of it, I spend more time at the Union than I do at university or at home for that matter. We're becoming one entity! Hah!

Convergence

Today was interesting. There was a meeting at the Union about how societies and sports teams are going to recruit and organize themselves for the next academic year. What's interesting is the disassociation between the clubs and societies at the Union. When Looprevil was just starting out, one of my goals was to make sure that we create a link with all the sports and societies so that there would be some sort of cohesion. Although this worked to some extent (we have had collaborations with some sports teams and worked together with a few societies) it did not live up to my expectations.

Then there's days like today where I realize that there is no joint community spirit between the volunteer groups at our Union. It's frustrating, especially since I'm trying to establish the student media here, to see that each social group is too embedded in their own processes to work well with others.

I really want to change this. I realize that our university, because of being scattered across the city, makes it difficult for people to find some kind of centralization. However, it's up to us to make a change happen. A sense of community develops through many ways and sometimes just having a bar and a sign that says "Students Union" doesn't work. One of the main ones I'm going to be working on if I'm elected to this Vice President of Community position is more combined events for all the union's sports teams and societies. These events need to be quirky, they need to be unique and creative. These events need to combine different social and ethical groups. We can all learn so much from diversity.

So with that said, the thinking cap goes on and hopefully they creativity will flow out.

Manifestation of the Manifesto

So I've been attempting to write out my manifesto. It's more difficult than it seems. I know what I want to achieve and I know how I want to achieve it but to put it down on paper is...tricky. It's slowly taking shape now though. I have a week to hand it in so that's enough time to create something that I can work with.

I'm beginning to worry that this is going to be more of a popularity contest than an actual democratic electoral process (then again, aren't they all!). It's all about who you know when it should be who is best for the job. Representation of students is something that should be taken very seriously and I fear that with systems like these in place, the best person for the job doesn't get it. But what would be an alternative? That's exactly it, there aren't any viable alternatives as they would break democracy. It's an ugly game, but I have to play it if I want to make a difference in the future.

Hard work. That's the key. Setting goals and achieving them. A kick ass campaign. And hopefully a lot of support for the right reasons. For now I can only put in the work behind the scenes.

One month and one week from today we'll see where that work has got me to.

Playing catch up

Today has been a long day already. I've been slacking on assignments recently due to other commitments but now it's time to pull my socks up so I've been reading extra. I need to catch up this week otherwise I'll be left behind. Priority number one: pass university.

So tired though! This is what I feel like today :)

Finding inspiration

Inspiration is a strange and elusive feeling. There's days when I can be inspired simply by thinking about my goals or by looking at something in a new light. Then there's other days where the goals seem so far away that I just feel drained of any emotion. Still, that doesn't mean I give up the struggle. I love to work. I love to create. But there are still days where you look out of the window and everything seems dry, everything seems colourless.

We fall into patterns. It's inevitable. It's unavoidable if we are to continue living in society. Patterns define culture, religion, social structures, businesses. Patterns define life. Eventually these patterns become boring and we need to move off into another direction until that new direction becomes a pattern in itself.

The way I avoid lack of inspiration is by constantly moving in new directions. There is so much to learn from so many people and places. I don't know what's going to happen but I'd rather have tried to understand and learn as much as possible before I eventually settle into a life on mundanity.

Anyway, this is just obsolete rambling now so i'm going to stop. Just needed to vent and only have my laptop to listen to me. It's amazing how much time we spend together, my laptop and I :)

Trying to be wise and thinking of the future

So I'm thinking of running for Vice President of Community at the Liverpool Students' Union. I've currently been outlining my options for my future after university and this job seems to be the best opportunity to make a difference.

I've found that over time I've been growing attached to the Union as a whole. It's strange. I've put in so much of my time and creativity into making The Looprevil Press a success over the past few years and having a Looprevil office at the union and a job at the union as well means that I spend more time there then I do at home.

I've learnt that I hate it when people bad mouth the union. Fine, it has a bad reputation but we're working so hard behind the scenes to make it better and when people don't see the fruits of your labour it's quite deflating. But the people I work with still come back everyday and that "never give up" attitude is what I love. You can tell that the people that work there actually do care about making it a better place. It's not only a job. It becomes a challange, at least it has for me.

So, this Vice President of Community position, it's going to be interesting if I do manage to get it. Campaigning starts soon and all I can do is my best. I still don't feel like i've proved my full potential by starting up the newspaper and the radio station at the union. I still have more to give. It's going to be a lot of hard work but I love to work. It's my drug.

Anyway, the research begins now.

Busy Bee

So the past few weeks have been incredibly busy. Things just seem to come up over and over again. Issues that can be resolved easily tend to drag out because everyone is distracted by how "busy" they are. Looprevil Radio is proving to be a lot harder to set up than I thought it would be. But I like challenges so it's fun. One way or another, we will have a working radio station at Liverpool John Moores University before I finish my third year and have to leave.

The worst thing is, and I know I really shouldn't be saying this, but university seems to be getting in the way of moving forward. Assignments are coming in thick and fast and the reading is too time consuming. I still try staying uptodate with everything but it's tiring considering i'm trying to hold up a lot more.

Right, it's Friday night and I have to get going so I'm going to shoot this post off into the chasms of cyberspace.

Abu Simbel

Love works in funny ways. In 1632, Shah Jahan had the Taj Mahal made for his favourite wife, Mumtaz Mahal. However, an age ago, in 1244 BC, King Ramses II had the temple of Abu Simbel made for him and his favourite wife, Nefertari. Both monumental in their appearance, eccentric in their creation, tributes to love. For thirty years workers toiled on carving the great temple of Abu Simbel while legend has it that Shah Jahan had the hands of his architect cut off after the Taj was built so that such beauty could never again be replicated. Yes, love works in funny ways.

It’s about 3am as we hurry into the van to drive the three hundred miles to Abu Simbel in southern Egypt. In the thick fog of sleep, the sodium vapour city lights of Aswan burn without grabbing my attention. The seats are comfortable and all my body wants to do is snuggle up in the cosy warmth of the seat and sleep the elastic hours away. But my mind, that’s another story. Quick and alert stimulated by anticipation, it keeps me awake. Within ten minutes the convoy of buses and vans has broken the perimeter of the city and we’re heading for the thick sandy desert of Hollywood’s Egypt. The world outside the window becomes alien as the pregnant bumps of sand dunes break the flat monotony of the horizon. With not a light in sight, now is when the stars show their value. A million clustered constellations caught in the web of the deep night. Each star cosmically spit shined to perfection.

Edfu and Aswan

The temple of Edfu is a story book of graphic history. Every surface of the walls, pillars and bases are covered by hieroglyphics. There is no room for the walls to even breathe. A tattooed temple telling the travellers to take the time to think twice. The dedication it must have taken for the ancients to inscribe every block, their need to preserve their culture through words, astounding. Two thousand two hundred years ago they stood in the very footprints I’m creating and marvelled at their collective efforts and wit. Edfu is a carved mountain of writing talking about ancient gods and of kings and queens and of great battles between different lands. A tabulated time capsule screaming into the future.

The city of Aswan is a city of two halves divided by the charming Nile. One side shows off a busy city life with warm orange lights incubating its streets and soft Arabic music floating out from small shop radios. Old Peugeots line up a dime a dozen, horses clip and clop their ways down the tarmac streets dragging in their carriages bedazzled tourists. All this happens while the stars wink down and the Nile gently smiles out a curve around a lone hill. On the other bank is that hill, semi arid and alone. Only a few lights burn there and the top seamlessly blends into the night sky like a masterpiece of a renaissance period painter.

Nile Crocodile

The waves of the Nile pulsing like memory through the synapses. These are the same passages where the merchants of ancient Egypt brought the limestone and granite boulders that built the pyramids and temples to appease their pharaohs and queens. These are the same waters that have been the life blood of the people for thick centuries dripping wet with history. These are the same tired banks that have witnessed the insignificance of human endeavour. These are the same satisfied trees that have drunk out of the life blood and are strong and tall. The trees dancing with the Mediterranean breeze and whispering secrets of the ancient. These are the same bored mountains choking with sand and baked with sunlight, looking down thirstily at the blue waters.

During the days as the ship lazily swims through the coolness of the Nile, a school of a hundred thousand fish of pure sunlight break and shimmer through the surface. During the evenings, the sun burns the blue sky black and leaves behind the constellated embers of stars. At night the reflection of the moon surfs along the wavy surface of the Nile, keeping up with our pace. Egyptian night skies become a range of shooting stars. In the backdrop, the steady hum of the engines provides the bass and the swish swosh of the waves play the treble for the Nile’s night song. Indeed, a scribe does not have to look far to find inspiration in Egypt.

Christmas in Cairo

Christmas day breakfast in an Egyptian hotel is like one of my lecturers; too short and very boring.

I try to imagine the first explorers who came across the pyramids and how they must have felt in the moments they first saw the pointed tips rising out from the sand dunes like a gigantic angular spectre. From a distance it must have felt like it was some strange mirage condensing from the desert heat. Then the disbelief striking in waves, the rabid confusion must have set into their educated minds. Carved limestone mountains did not just grow out of the ground. What were these limestone beasts?

I saw them today. I got my first glimpse while we were in the town of Cairo. The anticipation almost felt wet. And heavy. There I was, in a fairly developed city, in a luxurious air conditioned four wheel drive car, two gigabytes of memory on my camera another three on my cell phone and eighty more on my iPod. There I was, with expensive time sitting on my wrist and a mind freed by existentialist de-programming and all of a sudden I’m faced with more than five thousand years of limestone history. A seed of insignificance burrows deeply into my mind. And stays there. The tips of the pyramids rise above the city buildings, dwarfing them both in stature and age. The juxtaposition of contemporary life and the dawn of civilization is strangely odd. Disconcerting. The hustle and bustle of everyday life in the shadow of the pyramids, the local people not acknowledging them whatsoever. Liminal lifestyles that eclipse these great mountains of memory. The same time that makes the pyramids so legendary also makes them lose their splendour.

So here I am, forget my eighty five gigabytes of memory. Here I am faced with more than two million limestone blocks each holding more than five thousand years worth of stored memories. Here I have facing me the dawn of architectural civilization, superstructures that have survived the centuries having earned the right to stand here and boast about their own brilliance. Here is the manifestation of the ingenuity of vision. Here it is, right in front of me. I’m touching the cold sleeping blocks with the flat of my palms, the surge of excitement holding at bay all the other thoughts in my mind. A connection is being built; no impact, just an acknowledgment.

The Great Pyramid of Giza in the palm of my hands. The Great Pyramid of Giza where the great pharaoh Khufu once lay in his mummified skin and golden sarcophagus. The Great Pyramids, here they are, patiently waiting in all their glory. Here they are, waiting to be abused, defaced. Here they are, waiting to be spat on and littered on. And the hoards of people that visit it, they duly oblige. A thick film of greasy epithelials covers its base. Small crevices dug out in the blocks by the winds and droplets of time serve as ashtrays for cigarettes. Bluish plastic bottles and bright red aluminium cans decorate the base like a Christmas tree pyramid. The desecration of the tombs in such a fashionable manner, so nonchalant in its approach. Wave upon wave of destructive men have crashed upon the base only to bounce of and once again merge with their own, the Great Pyramids remaining indifferent to their plight.

At night the Pyramids are degraded even further as the sound and light show begins. Green lasers and oddly coloured lights pour onto the great tombs making the pharaohs probably turn in their sarcophagi. When the show ends and darkness drops on the pyramids is when their beauty can be seen. These stone tents pitched up against the backdrop of the starlit sky.

Touching down in Cairo town

I went to Egypt and, rather unexpectedly, I fell in love. Everyone wants that one holiday romance. To fall in love on holiday accentuates everything. Love at first sight is not something I usually believe in but I fell in love the moment I experienced her, the moment I breathed her in, the moment I touched her. Ancient Egypt, the Queen of the Nile.

As the moon hangs low in the midnight Egyptian sky, the desert dust paints it a Mars-ish red and the city beneath is still alive with all the charm of a heap of stones. A city of midnight moons and ancient tombs. The day was as long as the night is short and as we cruise down the highway I’m in a state of surprising indifference.

Cities from passenger seats in cars are just cities just like all airports are just airports and carpets are just glorified rugs; nothing special. After all, a hundred thousand blurry lights are still just blurry lights. After about a hundred mosques, a scattering of palm trees and massive industrious signs, we are finally pulled into the tractor beam of our hotel.

What you need to know is that a five start hotel in Africa is at the very most a three star hotel in the rest of the world. However, you also have to know that I grew up in Africa and a three star hotel to me is a five star hotel. Simple logic. You also need to know that you cannot possibly enjoy the perks of a five start hotel when you inadvertently fall asleep as soon as you get to the room. Simple physics.