The #KenyansOnTwitter Party

When you're climbing a mountain and you feel like your heart is about to explode, it's usually advisable to think of anything that can distract you from your current predicament. So that's how this topic was born. Halfway up a steep mountain, climbing in the dark, fighting dehydration and pushing away pain. It's just a little bit of fun.

So here we go. If the people I follow on Twitter were at a party in real life, this is how I think it’d go.

Firstly, the party would probably be hosted up at @WestgateMallKe. @Kenya_tweets would be checking everyone’s IDs at the front door making sure that they’re Kenyan and then registering them onto the form. There would be plenty of @coldtusker to go around (the drink, not the guy). @tis_me_pink would be the official photographer at the party giving us the world from her kooky perspective through her spectacular pictures. @cooxie02 would be the quiet, intelligent girl in the corner observing everyone and never speaking out of turn. By the end of the night, she’d probably be the life of the party.

@ahmedsalims would be coming up with a new, innovative way to unite all Kenya. And he’d be wearing a stylish @FluidTees t-shirt while doing it. @kamz26 would be drooling and chasing after @koinangejeff who in turn would be marketing “THE BENCH” and trying to get her on it. We'd hear @Wamathai deliver lashes of creative poetry throughout the night.

The three radio ladies, @PoojaKotedia, @SadiaOfficial and @Evedsouza would be streaming the music from the party straight onto the radio and keeping the audience up-to-date with exciting live commentary. Actually, the commentary would probably be fierce and scathing because they'd probably want to be at the party.

@Buggz79, @donhangani, @crazynairobian and @IamDonatelli would be the boys making everyone at the party laugh with their witty one liners and clever comebacks. They’ll probably have a battle of sorts between themselves to see who wins. The battle would probably be hosted by @Truthslinger and the winner would become a trending topic as a prize.

@theekimutai, @_Ramzzy_ and @iFortknox would be the guys delivering harsh truths to oblivious people through acerbic little lines of wisdom. They would be saying things that get people all riled up but in the end those same people know that these dudes make sense, most of the time.

@ntvkenya and @standardgroup would probably be hovering over the party taking pictures and interviews with the Twitter celebs. @timnjiru would vehemently be asking party goers if they Poken. Vehemently! @safaricom would be off sulking somewhere and apologising to the droves of complaining people and fending them off with a hockey stick.

There would be a melodious ambiance set by the musicians in the house. @zubinews would be singing beautiful songs in that one of a kind voice of hers. Then @justabandwidth would come onto stage and do their thing the way only they can. @ma3theband would then take over and see out the night led by the always bright and bubbly @msupastar.

Finally, @KenyaPower would walk in and the lights would go out.